Going on
by 1alucard1
Summary: After the events of the finale, Lucifer and Chloe start avoiding each other. Their relationship is reduced to working cases together. Chloe needs space to adjust to the new reality she's confronted with, but doesn't realize how her behaviour affects Lucifer. One-shot.


Chloe stepped into the elevator going up to Lucifer's penthouse, feeling anxious.

Back at the crime scene, Lucifer had mentioned in an offhand remark knowing a breeder of the exotic type of dog their victim had been in possession of. At the time, she hadn't paid him much attention, but then it turned out that the dogs might be related to the murder.

The problem was, Lucifer wasn't answering her texts. Or phone calls. And this was pretty much their only promising lead at the moment. She hadn't been to his penthouse since- well, since _before_. Actually, she'd pretty much avoided being in the same room with him when no other people were around. She would just get the details of the breeder from him and take off again. Piece of cake.

She entered the penthouse slowly. Her gaze landed on the bar. She gasped. The counter top was covered in an array of utensils and leftovers of what looked to have been a very interesting party. Featering a massive amount of illegal substances. Her trained eye swept over the rest of the room, which looked impeccable, with no sign of any wild festivities. Besides, she had seen Lucifer no less than two hours ago. What was going on here?

"Lucifer?"

He sat up on the couch suddenly, startling her. "Detective! I hoped you would make an appearance."

His voice was unusually soft and he was smiling warmly at her, something which he hadn't done since- since- _had it already been three months? Wait, why had he been waiting for her?_ She took in his vacant expression, the way his eyes were glazed over, and realized that the reason there was no trace of a party was because Lucifer had used all of it himself. _Well, I guess that's one way to keep drugs off the streets._

She looked back to the counter top. A normal human would probably have overdosed a dozen times over on everything she saw there.

"I miss you", Lucifer said, voice still impossibly soft, filled with longing. "The real you isn't around anymore." He laid back down on the couch with a thud.

 _He thinks he's hallucinating me_ , Chloe realized.

She walked around the couch, back into his line of vision. "I need the contact details from the breeder."

Lucifer pouted, throwing his arms up in an exaggerated gesture of defeat. " _You_ only want to talk about cases, too? Then what was the _bloody_ point of this?"

Chloe narrowed her eyes at him. "What _was_ the point of this? Did you plan to fantasize about us having sex or something?"

Lucifer looked affronted. "What? No! I wanted to talk to you. I miss talking to you." He sounded heartbroken, and Chloe suddenly had an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

She said down on the couch, far enough away from him so that they weren't touching. "Okay, let's talk."

Lucifer said up again slowly, nodding. "I know you said you needed space to deal with everything, and I understand that, I really do, I know it's a lot to take in, but it's been so long, and I just- you know- it just seems like you don't want anything to do with me anymore."

He looked at her with a sweet, yet impossibly sad expression. _He's the devil_. The thought had repeated many times in her mind over the last couple of weeks. _He's the devil and he's currently making puppy dog eyes at me._ That one was new.

He tried to lean his elbow on the back of the couch, but missed, his elbow sliding down, landing in his lap. He looked down, confusion on his face. Chloe giggled, then clapped her hand over her mouth. He looked very unthreatening in that moment.

"'m a bit out of it, 'm afraid", he mumbled. He'd been perfectly articulate only a moment before. It seemed that the effect of whatever he'd taken was getting stronger for some reason.

He looked straight at her, and there was such longing, such sadness, in his eyes that Chloe felt it almost like a physical sensation in her chest. "It was s- stupid, I know. I shouldn't've gotten my hopes up. I always knew it had to be like this. I jus- I just thought maybe things could be different, this one time." He leaned his head against the back of the couch, somehow managing to look like a small, lost child. It made Chloe's heart ache to look at him. "Stupid devil", he mumbled, closing his eyes.

"What could be different?", she asked, her heart starting to race for no apparent reason.

He opened his eyes, but didn't lift his head. "I thought you might not fear me. Not hate me."

Chloe looked at him, shocked. "I don't hate you."

He smiled at her. It contained zero merriment. "Fine. Then you just don't like me anymore. Can't stand to look at my face anymore. Can't even stand to be in the same room as me anymore."

"Lucifer, no, that's not-"

He continued as if he hadn't heard her. "I'm sorry. I should have left. It would have been for the best. But I kept tagging along to cases, kept following you around like some _dog_ because it was better than not seeing you at all. Pathetic." There was disgust in his voice now, and self-loathing. "That's what it is. I should have accepted the truth, and moved on. Nobody loves the devil."

Chloe stared at him, her mouth hanging open in shock, realizing how her behaviour over the last weeks must have come across to Lucifer. It was true, she'd told him she needed space. And she'd taken a lot of time to think about things. Like heaven and hell. She should have been ready to talk to him by now. But every time she thought she was, there was something holding her back from making the first step towards him.

And she finally acknowledged what it was. _Fear_. Fear of where it would lead. Not because she was afraid of him. Quite the opposite. She did have feelings for him. She did love the devil, and it was a terrifying thought indeed. What kind of person did that make her?

He was still looking at her, head cocked to the side, seeming lost, and lonely. _It makes you exactly the same person you've always been_ , she thought. Because he was nothing like the devil was supposed to be. He was kind. Generous. He was fiercely protective of the people he cared about. He had a good heart. _And I treated him like dirt for the last three months_ , she berated herself.

"Listen, Lucifer. I'm- I'm sorry. I was so pre-occupied with myself, how what happened turned my world upside down, how everything changed for _me_ \- I never stopped to think how it all affected you. I was selfish and I made a mess of things. I'm sorry.

He smiled at her, but it faltered quickly, the sadness never leaving his eyes. "I guess this wasn't such a good idea after all", he stated, closing his eyes again, mumbling something that sounded like _Begone, spirit_.

 _Right, he still thinks he's hallucinating._ She almost took the opportunity and left. It would be better to talk to him when he was all sobered up, right? But what if she didn't work up the courage to say those things to him ever again?

She leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on his lips. She pulled back almost immediately. His eyes shot open and he looked at her in shock. He slowly lifted the index finger of his right hand and poked her in the shoulder. He swallowed.

"Either you're the most realistic haptic hallucination I've ever had, or you're- you're actually-" He stared at her, unable to complete the thought. He seemed a lot more lucid now than a moment ago, the shock obviously having lifted some of the drug-induzed haze he was in.

"I'm here", Chloe confirmed, smiling. "I'm sorry it took me so long."

"You- you said-" His face scrunched up adorably as he tried to recall everything she'd said a moment ago. "-you're sorry?" He looked at her, confusion evident on his face.

"Several times, yes." She still smiled at him. "And for the record, you're wrong. I-" She almost managed to get the words out. He deserved to know. Especially after everything she'd put him through during the last couple of weeks. She wondered if some small, vindictive part of her had still been punishing him for Las Vegas. She pushed the thought aside.

Chloe put her hand on his face, softly stroking her thumb over his cheek, feeling the texture of his stubble. She wondered what his other face might feel like. The thought held no terror for her anymore, only curiousity. He leaned into the touch, an expression of wonder on his face.

"You are easy to love", she said instead, voice thick with emotion.

He looked at her as if he suspected that she might have lost her mind. Maybe she had, who knew.

"I'm the devil", he said, as if that should clear up her confusion, and make her understand that she was talking nonsense.

She smiled at him. "Tell someone who cares", she teased, and kissed him again.


End file.
